Learn to say no, and you will start to feel better! It can be hard, even impossible for some people, and it is just a routine for someone else.
People that say no have more confidence and character. Someone that made a lot of mistakes usually is able to say no more easily.
Saying ‘no’ doesn’t necessarily mean avoiding life experiences but rather being able to enjoy life-based on your needs.
If you want to learn to say no, why you should say no, and how to say no. I will try my best to write my minimalistic opinion here.
Why you should learn to say no
I think that you should learn to say no. Doing so you will start to prioritize your real minimalistic needs. Saying no also will bring you in better situations sometimes.
Like an easy example is if someone is asking you to go to steal a car. Saying no will save you to be a thief and probably to be recluded in a jail.
As you can see in that example. It will be more easy that a 13 years old kid would say yes in that situation rather than a 45 years old man.
The reason is quite simple, teenagers have less self-esteem usually than an adult. They have still their personality to build and for them is harder to say no.
Saying no will save you so many times.
When is time to say no
There will be ignorant people telling you, c’mon let’s do it YOLO, you are a loser if you don’t do it. But the main question you should ask before taking a decision like that is:
Will saying yes improve my quality of life?
If the answer is no, you don’t have to do it, and saying no will make you aware of your rights. You as a human deserve to choose what’s good for you, and saying yes in a circumstance where you know that you have to say no, will make you look a weak person.
There is no point in jumping from a plane skydiving if you know that doing this will add no value to your life and if you know that there’s a chance that you will die.
If you are not convinced yet, try to look back at the one time when you said no and then you regretted that no. If you look at it at the present time, you will feel very stupid to have said no! right?
The benefits of saying no
- you’ll earn more confidence in you.
- some no will save you from bad situations.
- not feeling obliged to do something.
- building your personality and ability to make decisions.
- the feeling of freedom.
Understand why you say yes
You will probably say yes when you want to please someone, or whenever you feel like saying yes will make your life better.
A lot of people say yes just because they don’t want to contradict the other person because they are scared of their reaction.
Try to figure out if you really want to say yes, if you mean it and if it means yes for real for you or if you do it just to have someone else attention.
How to learn to say no
If you want to learn to say no, you first need to improve your temperament and self-esteem, start to make mistakes and observe the mistakes you make from the outside. (learn from them.)
Saying no for life decisions is according to me the easiest situation to say no, you should master and learn to say no in life situations first. I think that the situations listed here are harder:
- learn to say no at work.
- learn to say no without explaining yourself.
- learn to say no without feeling guilty.
Say no at work
Saying no at work might be the hardest kind of no, you can be scared of losing your job and many other things.
The first thing you should do is not having to work for someone else in the first place, you should aim to be your own boss and make the rules.
If you are not able yet to get to that point, you need to develop your confidence and understand that if you put your opinion out will make you look more secure.
If your boss is firing you or they want to pay you less, just say no, if you are secure in your position you will be understood.
Say no without explaining yourself
When you say no, you don’t need to explain yourself, the fact that you refused something is already self-explanatory.
If the other person is good enough, it will understand, sooner or later they will come back to you. If it will not understand, just eradicate it from your life.
Be always convinced and never doubt yourself, a strong no is better than a fake yes.
Say no without feeling guilty
If saying no will bring the other person into troubles, you don’t have to feel guilty, life is yours and it’s not your problem if the other persons have to pay the consequences.
You don’t need to apologize ever, your decisions if having a foundation for you is more than enough for the others.
Learn to say no hacks
Here some simple hacks to start saying no more easily:
- Try to be yourself, do not pretend to be someone else.
- Stop thinking that refusing means losing or being rejected.
- Do not find excuses for your any.
- No lies, answer with your open heart.
- Keep your answer simple, don’t start with a lot of hum, huh etc.. (“no, because I don’t want too” is the best reply).
If you want a good tutorial to learn how to say no for good, it is a little long but worth it. Check it out here on wikihow.
Conclusion
NO is the word! If you want to master the art of letting go, and minimalism you need to become better in saying no, there is no doubt.
Saying no will connect you to the freedom you have in taking decisions and show your strength. The benefits of saying no are multiple, one of them is the liberation from the fake illusions and insecurities.
Saying ‘no’ doesn’t necessarily mean avoiding life experiences.
Do not feel trapped in the social rules, express yourself and say no more often, follow your heart.
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Further Readings:
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