Lose something. The problem with these two words when together becomes bigger. If you just use the word lose it is not a big deal.
Meanwhile, if you use the word something it starts to become a big deal, and if we put together these two words and make the short sentence:
It then becomes a huge deal. I will try to explain why in this piece of article. I will go into the deep of these two words. Hopefully, I’ll make you think a little bit.
Let’s try to analyze the words ‘lose’ and ‘lost’.
If we head over an online dictionary, we should first read those definitions of lose and lost. (I strongly advise you to read those dictionary definitions). As similar as they sound if we read those definitions they are not the same thing.
The word lose, is mainly used to describe situations that no longer exists due to a cause, therefore you had something before that you no longer have.
Lost, instead, as we humans, we use this word typically to refer to an object or a material thing mainly that we are no longer able to find.
Now, if we go back to our ‘lose something‘ sentence after we have studied a little bit the Etymology of these two words.
We can see that there is something going deeper.
Let’s first take a look at the word ‘something’.
Our dictionary definition of something is clear, some + thing is referred to an object in most of the cases. Or to an action that is not exactly known.
The first question we should ask when using the word something should always be.
What it really means something for me?
I assume that if you read this post, you are into minimalism as well, or probably you have tried to google something like. ‘lose something you love’ or ‘I have lost something’.
Using ‘something’, to refer to a certain element that is not touchable brings up a few problems. If we go back to the definition of the word lose, this word is used to describe situations that no longer exists.
When we say stuff like:
how does it feels to ‘lose something you love’.
The word something in the middle of the sentence would make us think we should have said, ‘lost something you love’.
We mostly never think about losing a material thing, because at the end of the sentence there is the word love.
Love according to philosophers is the bonding force that keeps the world united, it is like a gravity force, for our souls.
love is like a gravity force for our souls.
Why we often say, ‘I feel like I lose something if’
IF, is a very short word, just two letters, but in most of the cases the end results of something that started with an IF is a decision.
Decisions are one of the hardest things to take in life.
Sometimes taking a bad decision could bring us to really bad event happening in our life. While a good decision will bring us a good event.
But then what actually bad and good means?
Bad, can be both used for things and feelings. So this is a good thing because we can use this word in any circumstance with the word lose.
Lose something bad, lose something good.
Usually, when we feel like to lose something, a certain event will occur and we might experience a feeling of bad or good.
What does it means ‘lose something’ for a minimalist like me
I have mentioned on my about page, and first blog post that I am going through a very hard period in my life. I am 31 and I am starting to lose important aspects of my life on my way, that I can not control.
I am questioning myself a lot when using the word ‘something‘, as a minimalist I should not care that much about losing something. But in fact, there are somethings that we love in life that we call them as ‘somethings’.
This is a mistake, and calling things that are important to our life ‘something‘, is wrong. Doing so we auto convince ourselves that we have control over that thing that we have lost, while in fact, we don’t, therefore we will feel bad. Here a few simple example:
- I have lost my grandma.
- I feel like I have lost my girlfriend.
- If I don’t do that, I will lose something.
We have no control over those ‘things’, either your grandma she is dead, or your girlfriend she is gone. And if that event brought us to a bad situation. We can not control these events.
What are aspects of my life where I have control?
You have control of many aspects of your life, you can decide if you wanna own a house, or a dog or a table.
Ultimately you have deep control of any material thing that surrounds you, being minimalist will reduce the chance to have too many things to think about.
There is absolute control over your decisions nor on the causes, and you can have control of your feeling and vision of the world by auto convince yourself about an event, that will happen.
What aspects of my life I have no control?
You have no control over emotions and life facts that occur. You can not change your emotions and events in life, but you can control your feelings with some work.
Emotions come in the future after an event occurred, we can start having a better reaction to our emotions working on our feelings.
If a person we love dies, we can not have a full control of our emotions but we can work on our feelings. Something you should always have in mind is:
the only entity that we can not live without is, ourself.
How big is the influence of the past in my ‘I feel like I lose something’ two-word sentence
As a minimalist, I live only with the things I really need, when I am talking about things I am talking about objects.
What kills me instead is the existence of the past, I have full control of the material things around me, but I have zero control on the past.
Something that made me feel bad, is able to remind me that at a certain point in my life, back in the days I had something, that no longer exist now.
The more I go forward in life, the most I am convinced that the most important objects we need to own cannot be owned.
People get over attached to things and started to give the same value to unmaterial things such as love as a thing.
When we are losing someone we love, we would like to have it back with us, because the emotion of familiarity is easier to manage.
Everything new and not familiar scares the shit out of most of the human beings.
Let’s assume that you have been in a relationship with someone for a long time, ‘things’ didn’t work out after years together. You both decide to break up and don’t see each other again.
This is a decision you both made, because for some reasons in the present moment you thought it was a good decision.
This would benefit both you, but what happens then is that you miss that person, and you start picturing events with this person that happened in the past and made you happy.
Try to focus on this word you happy. The only reason why we suffer is that you no longer have ‘something’ around you that gave you happiness. This is so selfish and part of the humans at the same time.
we build relationships and happiness only for ourselves.
Being aware of the yourself part of you
Being aware that the only thing we need to keep us together is yourself, is vital in today’s life.
The only way we can stop to lose something is by not losing ourselves in the first place.
Finding yourself might be the hardest thing in the world, but it is worth it. When you will find yourself you will be able to fight not material losses the same way you do for material things.
As impossible as it sounds it is real.
When our fridge brakes in the house, we just feel bad about the money we need to spend. But we don’t feel bad because the fridge gave you food every day.
We just go to the store, replace it and get a new one. We have no emotions attached to the past that will make us feel better because the fridge is death.
Why is like that? That fridge gave us fresh food every day but we don’t feel bad when he dies?
There is no love between a material thing and a human.
How to overcome the fear of ‘lose something’
If you are in the situation that you feel like you have lost something. Ask yourself first, why are you feeling so bad about it.
In most of the cases, is because we are living in the past instead of the present moment. And we are lost with ourselves.
Ok, that girl and your grandma were important in your life, but still, the most important thing is yourself. You can live without that girl or boy, but you can not live without yourself.
Do not find articles like this one, I do not agree almost with anything.
How to find yourself in 5 steps
- clear your thoughts and organize them.
- learn how solitude can benefit on you.
- find out what gives you temporarily moments of happiness, and grasp them for good.
- try to replicate these moments of happiness in the present time.
- be aware that the only thing you need is yourself.
Clear your thoughts and organize them.
Confusion is the main cause of discomfort, clearing your thought and remove the negative from your life is the first step.
You can watch this video on how to use it, also I love this guy and you should listen to all of his videos.
Learn how solitude can benefit on you.
We were born alone and we will die alone, no one can detach our body from our mind, unfortunately. Learning how to be alone and feel comfortable with it, it is a huge skill.
But don’t get me wrong, I am not telling you to live a life alone. This would kill anyone in this world. We need good relationships and we thrive on love the same way we need food to function.
Time alone can benefit and clear your deep thought, is something you should always do.
Find what gives you temporarily moments of happiness and grasp them for good.
Whenever you feel an emotion of happiness, write it down in OneNote, in a clear way. We will need this information whenever we will feel bad.
When the bad moment will come, we wrote down what made us happy in the past, and we will give an hope to be happy to the present.
Build your purpose in life around those moment of happiness, this is what you want in life.
Try to replicate this moment of happiness in the present time.
Life is made of little things, some of them require more energy to accomplish and when we lose them we feel awful.
But as I said before there are constantly situations, that even for a moment made you happy.
Try to work your purpose and passions around those moments.
Be aware that the only thing you need is yourself
Be constantly conscious that the only thing you really need in life as a good minimalist and life learner is yourself.
Do not let anyone detach yourself from you, there will be people telling you that you are not worth or you are not as good as. You don’t have to be like anyone else! You are you, and if you are interested in living an extraordinary life, you will learn how to do it.
Some people though is not interested in living an extraordinary life, they are just stuck in their ruts, and they are just living in a senseless way.
How to live an extraordinary life as a minimalist.
In this ‘lose something’ post, I have talked about stuff that I guess makes sense. I repeated often that trying to put down thoughts on paper is hard. Something might not make sense but at the end of the day, it should make you think and reflect.
As a minimalist you should live your life to its core, you need to learn the benefits of not having stuff around you and deeply study the ‘things’ that you really need. Which are in most of the cases, not things as material stuff as we used to think.
Learning that material things are just there to interrupt a process to an extraordinary life is my advice
If you ask yourself stuff like. ‘Did I lose something breaking up with that girl’ or ‘I feel I have lost something’.
Try to expand yourself to your deep self. Think about what made you so happy about that relationship that now you can not picture your life without her/him.
Then try to replicate those moments of happiness in the present. There is and there will be always you around you. And this is the only thing that will make you happy.
I have lost everything.
How can you lose everything if everything is nothing else but you? Never say something like I have lost everything, this is not true. I know is super hard in certain situations, but finding yourself is the first step to stop saying I have lost everything.
When you feel down and with no hopes, just follow your thoughts, learn to observe them from the outside, be a spectator of your thoughts. Our body is so perfect that will do any sort of thing to help us be happy.
- learn to hear the voice inside of you and act immediately.
- remove anything that gives you a bad feeling.
The biggest evils nowadays are anxiety and cancer, which are really similar so to speak. When you have cancer, you have a material thing trying to kill you. You need to eradicate that from your body.
Having anxiety and feeling sad is the same thing as cancer for the unmaterial world. You will not be able to do the easiest thing. The only way to cure that, are not pills or doctors. Is just being able to find yourself in any situation.
Conclusion for ‘lose something’ post.
I wanted to say a lot more, and honestly, not sure if I have answered the main question of this article. The question was ‘Lose something you love, what it really feels like’. Please comment below if you agree on something or not. It would clear my mind.
These words were analyzed:
I have found out that material things and not material things are two different entities. I questioned myself a lot, about the fact that I don’t understand why we feel bad for unmaterial things. Meanwhile, the only thing that only exists and we need to care about is yourself.
I attempted to organize my thoughts and gave you a list of things to do to find yourself. Which is ultimately the answer to all of our problems.
In conclusion, I think that whenever you feel like you have lost something or you are going to lose something.
You should always think what this loss influenced the most in your life as seen from the outside on yourself.
Learn to cope with the past. Treat unmaterial things like material things as a way to accomplish or to have something. This would help us to be a happy individual.
Being a minimalist will definitely help you to clear out your mind of the trifling stuff and thoughts that might roam into your head.
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